In the taboo shade of SEX...

How the theme ‘sex’ has become a taboo in India? This article masturbates the origin and rootgrowths of a historic transformation that led the Indians (and still leading) to a conviction that doesn’t accept sex as an open subject (but delegates proportional misdeeds behind it) in the society.

The word ‘Sex’ has always an exclamation following it, as it’s one of the most ‘forbidden’ or ‘unheard’ words in India. Imagine your kid asking about sex, the latest nosiness that in his world is quiet confusing. He has a pile of questions: How are new babies born? Why is mom’s belly so big? You think… but about ways to turn aside those queries. Homework, the new storybook or a new video game…options just alight before your on-the-spot creativity, only because you don’t want to (or don’t know how to) clarify those doubts. You are right at this stand, as you too had the same curiosities but those ‘scoldings and suppressions’ led to conceive that sex should be a silent sensation. But our kids are the smarter version of modernity, as they leave the scene with an inexplicable frustration, but try to find answers to all the queries with the aid of their post-modern roommates such as Internet, camera phone or some other spicy small-screens.

Sex is a taboo in India or it has become like that. The very word ‘sex’ itself is enough to turn the heads back. Parents are worried to tell their kids about it and kids are confused and trying new means to find it. Teachers ‘hate’ the word itself. Students are segregated in schools and colleges based on their sex. But day after day, sex-related crimes are increasing. Nights are becoming the hot shops of anti-natural sexual undertones. Media look pregnant with stories of rape, abuse and other sexual imputations. Streets, vehicles, parks and even one’s own home are not safe.
But why is it so? The only reason behind all these commotion is the suppression of this most universal sensation that is as wide and wonderful as life itself. Since normal communication and friendship between a boy and a girl is hindered by social taboos, the two sexes live in two different worlds and suffer from a great communication gap. What we perceive as crimes and problems are just side effects that happen due to these unfriendly outlooks. Human sexuality has always had a darker side, but it is truly the need of the time to have an in-depth look at this forbidden pleasure and how it fits into the strange, wonderful spectrum of human life.

The past and the present- a comparison.

India, the largest country in South Asia, and one of the largest in the world, is an exceptionally diverse nation-ethnically, culturally, linguistically and religiously. The Indian reflection about sexuality and gender has been shaped by many factors, including religion and the influence of various ethnic groups. In the past, Indian thought towards eroticism and gender variance seems to be more tolerant than it is today.

In ancient India, sex was not considered a taboo as it is seen today. In the past, there was enough freedom and indication to positively approach and discuss about sex. We can find plenty of examples and evidence to the same from our extensive mythological collections. At such times, the society supported and was open to the spiritual contemplations and intellectual considerations of sex and its various aspects. People believed in the ‘inner healing’ sex brings to the individuals involved in sex and therefore it was considered as an ideal holistic approach to life. The word ‘sex’ never raised the brows of the folks that time. But that openness has been deflating till then. That positive approach and thoughts about sex has been castrated from the minds and eventually arrived at a tabooed obsession. Everything from mutation in the ruling powers, foreign invasions, visits and revisits of various cultures, suppression of identity as a country and culture and lack of proper thinking carry the cause of this predicament. So we can find a shadow between the earlier period and what is seen today. There lies the ultimate cause and reason of this question; how sex has become a taboo in India? The location of the article is the same question while it investigates the fact from there to arrive at a probable and most passable id for the future.

The Vedic times

The ancient world was open and hearty. Not just to mere body interactions only, but to the whole aspects of sex. The ideas of intercourse, homosexuality, polygamy and monogamy, ethics of sex and love, new and innovative ways to explore the unknown pleasures of sex, and even scriptures reciting the methodical ways of sex and sexual pleasures were the very known subject matters of the time. They were even known to the spiritual pathways of sex, where it provided the harmony of body, mind and spirit. The masthead then was the openness toward sex, so that the subject was acceptable to the poor and rich alike. They used to discuss the importance and frontiers of the very feeling irrespective of the age, time and location.

Hundreds of examples are available from the ancient records to summarize the significance ascribed to sex. In most of the ancient writings and literature, there are occasions and characters that approve the value sex had enjoyed that time. Kamashastra is an early Indian contribution to the illumination of sex. It is the science of sex, which deals with the innate sexual relationship between man and woman and discusses the ways of making sexual life pleasurable and sustaining. According to Hinduism, Religion, Earthly possessions, Sex and Salvation of the soul are of equal importance. If any of these principal pursuits of life is absent, the human life will be incomplete. If sex is ignored, human society will fade away. The reason why the art of sex, like the other three pursuits, is regarded in the Hindu scriptures as both sacred and important. In the past, enough were done to preserve this vocabulary of sex in the same sacred way and Kamashastra is an example to the same. There is more to assign this fact, as there were many writers who wrote discourses on the subject up to the 17th century. The most important book on the subject is Kamasutra (3rd century BC) by Vatsyayana. Kamasutra distinctively describes various aspects of sex such as, kinds of union according to dimensions, different kinds of love, different positions and styles, how to embrace and kiss, pressing and marking with nails, the various ways of lying down etc. In a society that is religious and consistent on ethics, assume the advent of a book like this. Surprising, isn’t it? But the society was so wholehearted to attribute the book as a renowned possession for their spiritual reclamation. The basic message of Kamasutra then was to give eroticism a greater place in the scheme of life along with artha, moksha and so on. Kamasutra has a lot of dharma (of sexuality) and dharma leads to spirituality. It tells that there are certain things you should not do but if you want to do it then do it this way. Apart from the art of lovemaking, Kamasutra also discusses many aspects of Indian society, giving a detailed picture of the social life of ancient India. It clearly reflects the attitude and outlook of the people of that time. Kamasutra and the other books that followed it are the lucid representations of the mindset of the people of that remarkable time.

Tantras or Tantric sex is another set of evidence that can be taken as key to the trends of the earlier times. Tantra is any of the several esoteric traditions rooted in Hindu and Buddhist philosophy. Although tantra yoga texts themselves are only dated to the medieval period in India, it is thought by some that the earliest strand of tantra yoga, derived from the Dravidian, pre-Hindu religion of Shaktiism (adoration of the deity in her many forms), focused on yoni puja, a ritual honouring the vulva - either of a statue or a living woman. Depending upon the school of study, this puja involved making offerings of food and liquids while chanting prayers or it included the intentional sexual arousal of a woman who was believed to embody or personify the deity.

A related thread of tantra yoga that derived from Shaivism (the worship of the god Siva, which predates the syncretistic religion now known as Hinduism) has at its centre linga puja, a ceremony honouring the penis, often in the form of a natural upright stone.

Another one part of tantra (left-hand way) stressed on the sexual rituals even though it was not widely accepted. The Buddhist version of tantra considered ejaculation as the main goal of the sexual practice to drive the sexual energy towards achieving full enlightenment, rather than ordinary pleasure.

Related objects of worship have been found among the archaeological remnants of many Neolithic people around the world, leading some theorists to speculate that "sex worship" in some form or another is humanity's oldest religion.

Ancient Indians thought that the appropriate use of sex was an art. Perhaps that's why they called pleasure girls as artists (devdasis). Many of these pleasure girls treated their profession as a form of devotion to God, and refined it as an advanced fine art.

Some of our oldest temples are decorated with sexually explicit sculptures. These show a widely prevalent sexual connotation with temples of the past, which brought people into spiritual thought-frames of sex. Although Khajuraho is most famous for these sculptures, most of the Indian temples have them in one form or another. It could be a part of sexual education in ancient India: since most people visited temples, it was an appropriate place for mass communication. Some scholars say that these sculptures were provided to assist ‘kama’ one of the four major routes towards spirituality according to Hinduism. As these sexual figurines are restricted only to the outer walls of the temples, some people construe them as a symbolic gateway to reaching God. Another assumption is that at the time just preceding the construction of these sculptures, monastic Buddhism was prevailing, people were losing attention in the householder-life, and the temples were built to attract people to sex and family life and to renovate Hinduism.

Apart from these, there are stories from the mythology that influenced the people of the ancient time and involved in improvising their moral behaviours. The stories of Shakuntala and Dushyanta, Radha and Krishna, Yayathi and Devyani, and Nala Damayanti are enough to surmise the deep meaning of love and attraction of sexes. There are more stories, as more as sand grains on the seashore. Stories of Apsaras, the beauty idols and many more. These stories may not be an outspoken representation of sex, but a deep and suave undertone of sex and bodily attachment can be seen all through these stories and characters.

There are stories about Male-female union, unexpected intimacies, unusual interactions, and unthinkable climaxes. There are plenty of instances that exemplify the quality and attitude the audience could drew from these stories. All these Vedic features point towards the presence of a widespread acceptance and acknowledgement of the theme ‘sex’ in a period that is years away from the technological improvisations and cultural edifications of modern times. All it was about to make a spiritual consciousness as sex itself was considered as a superconsciousness. All these are sufficient examples to arrive at a conclusion that in our ancient culture, sex was not a taboo, but it was a subject as open and transparent as the sky and as profound and meaningful as the sea.

In the earlier period, even when the family did not offer explicit sexual education, the general culture was permeated by respect for fundamental values and hence served to shelter and preserve them.

Support from other cultures

In the past, the cultures that existed around the globe had altogether a neat and altruistic approach toward sex.

Sexuality in early Egypt was open, untainted by shame or guilt. Sex was considered as a vital part of life - from birth to death and rebirth. Even the gods themselves were earthy enough to copulate. The Egyptians even believed in sex in the afterlife. Sex was not taboo at all... Even the Egyptian religious conviction was filled with tales of adultery, incest, homosexuality, masturbation and even hints of necrophilia! Masculinity and femininity itself were powerfully related with the ability to conceive and bear children.

Roman artists pictured a great range of human sexual activities-far beyond those mentioned in classical literature. Roman citizens paid artists to decorate expensive objects, such as silver and cameo glass, with scenes of lovemaking. This erotic art was not hidden away, but was displayed proudly in homes as signs of wealth and luxury. In public places, artists often depicted outrageous sexual acrobatics to make people laugh. These art forms represent a sophisticated, pre-Christian society that placed a high value on sexual pleasure.

Ancient China had a beautifully erotic civilization. Eroticism was portrayed openly in all forms of the arts and literature.

But in ancient India, the sexual mores had a different outlook altogether from the above mentioned civilizations all. In India, sex had an image of satisfaction and maturity in order to attain the spiritual levels of existence. It was not aberrant but selfless, not unnatural but divine. So there were no deformities about the ways of discussing and openly approaching sex as a theme.

What we see today?

What we see today is a completely different picture. In India, discussion on sexuality hardly takes place. If at all, it is mostly part of the discussion on obscenity, media policy or rape. We are afraid of speaking about sex in public. There are no more spiritual associations with sex as the holistic characteristics of sex are defamed. But the quality of sex has become so common that today the spiritual practice of sex, considered for millennia to be a profound, powerful and even crucial aspect of spiritual life by Budhists, Hindus and Christians alike—seems to have all but fallen by the wayside.

There are specific reasons to this irony or the devaluation of sex. Sex today is like any other passive physical activity just to seek and fulfil bodily pleasures. It has declined from its sacredness to a mere business support for selling unproductive themes to the mass. There is no motive, except satisfying instantaneous emotions. Most often sex is identified as just a satirical topic for the media. As there are no essentials to its credit, sex has become a taboo or something wrong that is to be performed, or even thought about, only in the shadows of seclusion.

Similar lines of the thought are very obvious from the views of some people today. There are people who believe that sex is sin and that's why it takes place at night. Today’s commercial movie culture hints at this kind of "sinful" sex, i.e. implying condemnation of women in a tempting way all the time. However this kind of demoralisation of women and thereby sex do not actually facilitate an open, debate on sexuality.

Whereas diseases like AIDS worsen the scene. AIDS did not make any awakening, other than making people more shrunken. In India, backward attitudes to sexuality and similar issues make tackling sexually transmitted infections, including HIV/AIDS, difficult. These maladies are a result of illegal and unhealthy modes of personal intimacy. Instead of reducing the negatives, it makes an impression that sex is unsafe. There are problems too. When there is a taboo like ‘sex’, the disease and the misconceptions associated with it flourish further.

All these together make the scene darker. The authorities (or the people themselves?) are still confused whether to include ‘sex’ as a subject to study. There are people who agree to include sex as a subject to study and people who defy it. But the whole effect is the same- taboo. There are teachers who are ashamed to take lectures on sex, the organs and facets of sex. It’s true that in India, this kind of a downbeat affects even the field of medical instruction too.

A lot of people say they find it easier to speak with a counsellor over the phone rather than face to face. This is an obvious face of taboo. In countries where talking about sex is still considered taboo, it's hard for people especially teens to find accurate information. Many young people find their information from pornographic web sites and X-rated films. This often adds to their confusion about sex and gives them a feel of insufficiency. This further aggravates the taboos by promoting crimes and sexual harassments in the backdrop.

The taboo- pictures from Europe and the U.S

While comparing to the European countries or the U.S, we can find a basic deviation on the whole theme of sex. In European countries, sex is not a taboo at all. But in the U.S, sex is still a subject matter that falls in between the taboo part and a non-taboo side as well. But there is a great similarity between how both parts of the world consider on educating the youth about sex and most possibly this may be the principal reason why sex is not a taboo in both the countries as compared to the Indian landscape. In the west, the idea of sex education is very clear. They believe that sex, however, is something that should be explained by parents, not demonstrated in media. It’s always better that kids find out these things from their parents or sex education instead of watching sexual techniques in a video game or in a porn website. So there it never leads to the wrong impression of sex. Instead of an expression of affection or desire, without this preface, it becomes an expectation and not a privilege.

Moreover, in the West, a major reason of taintless approach toward sex can be an acceptance attitude. This is what has sometimes been termed as the "sexual revolution" of the post-war period, i.e. acceptance of pre-marital sex and change of sex partners as a fairly normal part of life.

A slight difference is seen in the American territory, as it is more sensitive to sex related matters. A perfect example of how sensitive the American culture is to sex is how they handled the film "Leon: the professional" In America, the movie was cut, and missing all of its charm because people were slighted by the implied love between the two main characters. None of the violent content was cut, yet a major part of the character development is lost all while. While in Europe, the film maintained it's original version, and audiences embraced the relationship between the two leads, rather than avoiding it. That doesn't mean that there aren't odd attitudes about sex in Europe, it's just that, taken as a whole, the attitudes about sexuality and the human body are a bit more relaxed than they are in the US; so there's no need to get fixated on issues over sex and such matters.

To add more, it is to be thought that the western folks have greater independence from morality unlike India, so they take decisions more freely and independently. But in India morality and sexuality are excessively fused together to make the life stringy.

Barbara Huberman, director of outreach and education at Advocates for Youth, in Washington, D.C had once commented;
"European countries are very comfortable with the idea of teen sexuality. It’s not considered taboo, as is the case here in the U.S. Society doesn't view adolescent sexual behaviour from a moral perspective in these countries. They don’t debate whether teen sex should or shouldn't occur, but they discuss the ways to keep teens as educated and safe as possible."

A similar sexual revolution won’t heal the taboo scars of Indian sexuality so simply. But what is mentionable here is the realization that is absent in our country, but undoubtedly present in the foreign states. As per their social attitudes, they realized the identity of sex that led to define a code of sexual openness in those countries. For that reason, there sex is not a subject that is to be kept in secret words and coded gestures, but to be glorified and discussed for the sexual well-being — to a self-affirming and enjoyable sexuality.

The flow is missing.

Yes, we really missed the flow- the flow of a great culture that synchronised sex with civilization, righteousness and complete awareness along with a solemn generosity. We had a culture that was much more open to sex and sexuality than any other country in the world. But today, while standing in the midst of taboos and forbidden fruits, think; are we really the offspring of such a magnificent tradition? Where did we miss the flow then? What are the reasons that mutilated the once-existed permissiveness? Let’s look for some sound reasons.

The fall of identity is the major cause of the sexual taboos in India. The wrong interpretation of celibacy has a villainous role in this issue. In the Indian tradition itself, there is an obvious disagreement amid the principles of sexuality and celibacy as to find which one is more relevant. Celibacy has always exposed to greater discussions and interpretations. Except in the Gupta period of Vatsyayana, a conflict which eroticism has almost lost. Again in the middle of the time the middle class was under the Victorian Puritanical influence, which reinforced the abstinent principles of the Indian tradition. This further softened the existence of sex as a subject matter. But at the same time people assumed that since the western political and economic foundations were better, perhaps their ethical institutions were also better. This made a wall in the minds of the people. That’s why still sex and eroticism is perhaps suffering from the lack of a proper identity.

Apart from these two, there are specific reasons that made way to the former and consequently contributed to the decline of the ancient civilization. As mentioned in the beginning, everything from frequent transformations in the ruling powers, foreign invasions, visits and revisits of various cultures, suppression of identity as a country and culture and lack of proper thinking are the real causes behind the gradual missing of this ancient sensitivity.

The ruling was under constant changes. There existed several small kingdoms before the arrival of Westerners, Moguls and Arabs. Each of these small countries had their own culture and ethnicity but a basic thread of beliefs and culture that was prevalent throughout the Vedic times united them all. The very culture fostered arts, science, and discussions on all other aspects of life including sex too. The kings, emperors, governments, business bodies all have backed these. But when foreign cultures started intruding, the ethnicity was seen loosening. The foreign cultures and civilizations imposed their rules and customs so that the identity of these small countries faded. In addition, they started fighting each other for power and wealth by the influence of the foreign ‘guests’. Slowly the discussions and discourses had been stopped and arts and cultural qualities had been forgotten.

The foreign invasions especially the influence of the Mogul empire has a great hand in making sex a taboo in India. Many aspects of Indian life, including sexuality, were changed by the Muslim conquest of South Asia that began in the eighth century. Islamic rules spread into modern-day India in the early eleventh century and culminated with the tenuous conquest of most of South India in 1707. The introduction of Islam had a more profound effect on North India, which was held mostly under Muslim rule until the nineteenth century. Actually these rules were not imposed in a fine morning, but these had been taking place throughout the Muslim ruling and making gradual but critical changes in the minds of the people. For a better stand, it is to be thought that the Mogul invasion was not imposed any strict assaults on Indian traditions, but it happened as a part of the overall confusion imparted by the rule.

The constant invasions and intrusions had left India culturally and ethnically squeezed. The arrivals and departures of Portuguese, Dutch, French, Arabic, British and a lot of other micro incursions have their own prevailing leftovers in the Indian cultural landscape. The visits and revisits of these compound cultures had profound influence in shaping the present cultural skeleton of India that stay far away from the ancient consciousnesses. And this is certainly a reason of the taboo mentality that the Indians breathe today.

Another factor was that there was freedom of speech, individual liberty, concept of private and intellectual property in the ancient times. A man could research and study what they wanted. Comparatively speaking, a man could go into a royal court and proclaim a new invention, or come up with a new play or dance without fear of retribution, imprisonment or death. This is a critical aspect. But in the middle, he had lost that power of individuality from his hands, as he had surrendered it to someone alien to him. So a fissure in the gradual thought process happened and this resulted in the darkening of the period.

The origin of taboos is actually from the medieval times itself. And a tough truth lies behind this grasp. There is a basic difference between the social beliefs of the past and today. The cause of this trouble is the mid time when a lot of wrong and unhelpful principles were originated. There are a set of principles and knowledge our ancestors hold and that could stand the test of time. But in the middle, there also developed a body of awareness — maybe, better called values and thoughts — about sexuality and all other aspects of humanity that has since then proven to be wrong and shown to be based on fallacious principles or suppositions. Many of these erroneous beliefs and ideas have, regrettably, not been discarded till today, and have therefore acted as a drag on us (the taboos); they often exercise a better grasp over the minds and hearts of our people than the tradition of knowledge that has stood the best of time and has been found to be well-matched with what was discovered later.

Add to all these factors, the lack of thinking from our side bears the lead role in inviting taboos to the life. Sex; it’s just a matter of thinking rather than tabooing and suppressing. Even today, a proper analysis and open mindedness could do well against the taboos.

Can a proper definition make it clearer to the people?

Sex is whole in itself. It’s a perfect donation to your body, mind and spirit. It’s a benevolent, expressive and exceptionally noble act, which is a form of prayer in itself. Its presence is really divine and that’s direct to the spirit rather than the body. The body opens the hearts to unite and become one; the emotions gush through the hearts and propel them, the needs and desires express themselves to the fulfillment, no fears are born, no absence is felt, and finally souls meet and embrace each other. A kind of salvation from the tears and fears. Through this sharing of body, mind and spirit, God is revered and remembered. Like this, making love goes from the physical to the emotional and finally to the spiritual level where it becomes a prayer to the Divine. Again, it’s not just prayer only; it’s consent from God to stay in peace, happiness and sublime moods.

The taboo shade- growing or fading?

In the shade of the taboo, what’s happening is the disheartenment of the culture and courage of the people. In the absence of proper thinking, what’s ruling is stupidities and dearth of knowledge. So there is no meaning in maintaining the same tabooed suppressions of sex and sexual expressions in the frame of sophistic decency. A transformation is approaching, as change is always the call of the time. A change of attitudes and beliefs. This change is clearly visible in the middle and upper class. It is a kind of swaying towards the western concept that talks of sexuality free from any restraint. But it is not easy as it is not the same sexuality that our ancestors believed in.

Flee from taboo does not mean a minus in the moral values by abusing the sexual denominations. ‘No taboo’ cannot be a deviation from the spirituality of sex. So a careful analysis and a lot of work are still required to elaborate on a sexual norm for modern India. We should not remove it too far from our own cultural experiences. (As it would be difficult to identify as Indian) It should be a neat improvement from the ancestral specifications and a heedful restraint from the naked Western culture. Otherwise there would again be a divide: on the one side the great ascetic idealism and on the other a completely erotic idealism. It is very difficult to foretell which direction it is going in.

The spit mania

Spitting is a waste habit one can have. If you are addicted to pan masala or some other ‘shit smelling’ things, spitting becomes an involuntary activity. Haven’t you seen filthy, reddish spittle full of pus? (Sorry, I do not have any picture to insert here.) Let’s see what would be the attitude of a person who spit on the common places.
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I spit.
I see (my) spittle everywhere.
I can (will) spit anywhere in India because I ‘m an Indian.
I spit on the roads and pavements,
I spit on the walls and the casements.
I spit better from the BEST or the trains.
Yesterday I could even spit on somebody’s head (idiot he is!)
I really like my spittle. (Saliva that’s come out of my mouth)
It’s very spicy and reddened by a range of gutkhas and panmasalas.
I like my spittle bubbles on the tip of my moustache.
It’s nice to spit when there is a slight wind (at least it will reach somewhere)

Agony of a writer

Every good piece of writing is the outcome of the intense pain and suffering within the mind of the author. Same to various art forms too. It is like the pain a woman suffers to give birth to a child. No, I am sorry, it’s more than just a pain, but it’s like a battle or a tumult within the mind of the creator. If your mind is too hurt, or has suffered a lot more than usual, the outcome also would be greater. Again, the success and authenticity of that writing depends on how much the reader can involve and relate that suffering to his life. The reader is always keen to identify himself somewhere in the art form. When he finds himself nowhere he passively leaves it. But it doesn’t mean that you have to write about a generalized or commonest thought or activity to gain more success. But if the reader can identify himself even with a minute description in the writing, you are successful.

I am thrilled!!

to talk to you !!!!