Literacy means nothing. At least when it’s about Kerala. If it is not so, how would you justify the incumbent scenes of sexual harassments and related violence in the state? There was a time when people would turn their heads back and ask,’ What??? Rape???’ But now the worth of the news itself has slid from its impact among the people as a rape or a sexual assault marks almost every hour.
It’s nothing but strange when we see this fact in the literary worth of Kerala. The first state to accomplish hundred percent literacy in India is now just a file of sexual upheavals that raise doubts in its credibility as the God’s own country’.
In Kerala you will see all the versions of sexual persecutions. It flourishes in every corner of life in the safe brand names of admission, ragging, blackmailing, insanity and drug use. But the truth hidden is nothing other than the lack of serious outlook into the matter by both the society and the government.
A recent happening in Kerala was behind the name of Ragging. A student of Mahatma Gandhi University was sexually assaulted in the name of ragging. The people who are responsible were shielded by the mutual supervision of the management and other authorities. The brutality of the incident is embossed in the fact that nobody paid any attention to the tears of the girl who was abused, until she had turn up to tell the world the way she was ragged. The cultural sagacity that the ‘Malayali’ proudly proclaims; but for no use, woke up to sympathize the victim.
Vijayakumari, a housewife in Mumbai who had been to Kerala recently remembers her experiences during a travel in the capital city, Trivandrum; ‘It was as if the men were waiting for buses to get crowded. In the bus they made all the rush deliberately. Wherever a woman was standing, there would be a large crowd of men around her. Even the conductors were not far away from abusing the female passengers in the bus. The conductor who was standing near to me was trying to fondle my thighs and I could only grumble at him’
Ministers in Kerala are known notorious for their sexual indignities. The deep-lying reality is that every Tom, Dick and Harry are involved in one or other cases, but the truth comes up only when there are issues of political blackmailing. On a fine morning someone from the opposite party or group will dig up the ‘ditch’ just to screw the opponent with a blast from the past. Recently, the minister of industry Mr. Kunjalikkutty was forced to resign with regard to a very old gossip of woman disgrace that the opposition party found out on a bad mood. Another one, Mr. Neelalohithadasan Nadar was under the police scrutiny as his track records revealed that he is a veteran in abusing fellow women.
Small kids to aged citizens to animals, the target of abusers are anyone to anything. Few months before, a youngster raped a schoolgirl of 5 years old and punted her to death in muddy water. Aged females who stay alone are more vulnerable to the crimes. Not even a month has passed after a woman of 74 years was molested and mutilated by a group of thieves. Even animals are not safe in terms of sexual abuse.
According to a study sponsored by the state government identified 825 child sex workers of which 355 are males and 470 are females, aged between 8 and 18. Many of these children had finished their school and were in great demand of among clients fearful of contracting HIV/AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases and believed child sex to be a safer option. Poverty, broken families or sexually abused by relatives, co-workers or bosses were found to be the chief factors driving these children into the sex trade. Children from other states are also brought to Kerala for sex trade.
These are all just ‘normal’ when considering another incident happened in Viyyoor Central Jail in the State. A male convict from another state was sexually abused by his male jail-mates with the prior knowledge of the jailers. In another similar happening, a boy was abducted from his school by a group of men, nastily raped and then returned home with threats to conceal the chapter.
Parks and beaches are becoming the den of sexual fanatics. A travel to the famous Calicut beach once showed me some awful sights I had ever seen. Some men were staying around the beach just to show sexually explicit gestures and actions to the females and young kids. Some others were found masturbating in the open places.
There are more similar incidents to swear the pathetic condition of a place that is considered to be the kingdom of edification. Every day is entitled by happenings of the same line that repeatedly slap on the deformed cultural image. No one is safe-women, kids, aged people and even men themselves too. Who is to be blamed? Because the picture is still appear blurred in the dust of social reverberations and cultural hullabaloos.
What is chuckling behind the curtain is nothing other than law. Sex rackets and other abuses are just the outcome of a common perception that the law is seriously inactive. It is true to a pretty good extent.
In recent times, a two-member Division Bench of the Kerala High Court let off all but one of the 36 convicted by a lower court in the infamous Suryanelli sex racket case, shocking some citizens and taking many others by surprise. The case was about a 16-year-old girl was allegedly sexually harassed continuously for 40 days by 42 men, who were convicted on charges of abduction, conspiracy, illegal detention, rape and gang rape. Overturning an earlier verdict by a special court, which convicted 36 of 42 accused, the High Court acquitted all the 36 individuals of the charges of rape and gang rape. It also reduced the sentence given by the trial court to the prime accused Advocate Dharmarajan from a rigorous life imprisonment to a mere five-year imprisonment.
“Taking into account the increasing incidents of sexual harassment and violence against women, the High Court’s verdict is a real let down,” points out K Ajitha, a prominent activist and president of Anweshi, a women’s counseling centre at Calicut.
These smack-backs will definitely reduce the effectiveness of law. In addition to these, the delays in solving the remaining cases due to lack of forensic and other reports, non-identification of accused, migration of accused to other countries, disappearance of accused, co-accused and witnesses in some cases, reluctance on the part of victims to pursue cases and inadequacy of facilities for DNA tests stink the whole scenario with clueless sniffs.
Truth is painful. It is the same when there are no clues too.
What is happening to the country of rich heritage and deep cultural outgrowths? A non-Keralite may not be interested in this affair as long as he/she is not going to stay in Kerala. But that level of a ‘stay away’ won’t do any good for the whole country itself. We are called to act on a national basis to end this dull despicability. It is the decent right of a small corner of the world that is renowned for its natural beauty and cultural connotations.
The God’s own country is just sighing.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
In the taboo shade of SEX...
How the theme ‘sex’ has become a taboo in India? This article masturbates the origin and rootgrowths of a historic transformation that led the Indians (and still leading) to a conviction that doesn’t accept sex as an open subject (but delegates proportional misdeeds behind it) in the society.
The word ‘Sex’ has always an exclamation following it, as it’s one of the most ‘forbidden’ or ‘unheard’ words in India. Imagine your kid asking about sex, the latest nosiness that in his world is quiet confusing. He has a pile of questions: How are new babies born? Why is mom’s belly so big? You think… but about ways to turn aside those queries. Homework, the new storybook or a new video game…options just alight before your on-the-spot creativity, only because you don’t want to (or don’t know how to) clarify those doubts. You are right at this stand, as you too had the same curiosities but those ‘scoldings and suppressions’ led to conceive that sex should be a silent sensation. But our kids are the smarter version of modernity, as they leave the scene with an inexplicable frustration, but try to find answers to all the queries with the aid of their post-modern roommates such as Internet, camera phone or some other spicy small-screens.
Sex is a taboo in India or it has become like that. The very word ‘sex’ itself is enough to turn the heads back. Parents are worried to tell their kids about it and kids are confused and trying new means to find it. Teachers ‘hate’ the word itself. Students are segregated in schools and colleges based on their sex. But day after day, sex-related crimes are increasing. Nights are becoming the hot shops of anti-natural sexual undertones. Media look pregnant with stories of rape, abuse and other sexual imputations. Streets, vehicles, parks and even one’s own home are not safe.
But why is it so? The only reason behind all these commotion is the suppression of this most universal sensation that is as wide and wonderful as life itself. Since normal communication and friendship between a boy and a girl is hindered by social taboos, the two sexes live in two different worlds and suffer from a great communication gap. What we perceive as crimes and problems are just side effects that happen due to these unfriendly outlooks. Human sexuality has always had a darker side, but it is truly the need of the time to have an in-depth look at this forbidden pleasure and how it fits into the strange, wonderful spectrum of human life.
The past and the present- a comparison.
India, the largest country in South Asia, and one of the largest in the world, is an exceptionally diverse nation-ethnically, culturally, linguistically and religiously. The Indian reflection about sexuality and gender has been shaped by many factors, including religion and the influence of various ethnic groups. In the past, Indian thought towards eroticism and gender variance seems to be more tolerant than it is today.
In ancient India, sex was not considered a taboo as it is seen today. In the past, there was enough freedom and indication to positively approach and discuss about sex. We can find plenty of examples and evidence to the same from our extensive mythological collections. At such times, the society supported and was open to the spiritual contemplations and intellectual considerations of sex and its various aspects. People believed in the ‘inner healing’ sex brings to the individuals involved in sex and therefore it was considered as an ideal holistic approach to life. The word ‘sex’ never raised the brows of the folks that time. But that openness has been deflating till then. That positive approach and thoughts about sex has been castrated from the minds and eventually arrived at a tabooed obsession. Everything from mutation in the ruling powers, foreign invasions, visits and revisits of various cultures, suppression of identity as a country and culture and lack of proper thinking carry the cause of this predicament. So we can find a shadow between the earlier period and what is seen today. There lies the ultimate cause and reason of this question; how sex has become a taboo in India? The location of the article is the same question while it investigates the fact from there to arrive at a probable and most passable id for the future.
The Vedic times
The ancient world was open and hearty. Not just to mere body interactions only, but to the whole aspects of sex. The ideas of intercourse, homosexuality, polygamy and monogamy, ethics of sex and love, new and innovative ways to explore the unknown pleasures of sex, and even scriptures reciting the methodical ways of sex and sexual pleasures were the very known subject matters of the time. They were even known to the spiritual pathways of sex, where it provided the harmony of body, mind and spirit. The masthead then was the openness toward sex, so that the subject was acceptable to the poor and rich alike. They used to discuss the importance and frontiers of the very feeling irrespective of the age, time and location.
Hundreds of examples are available from the ancient records to summarize the significance ascribed to sex. In most of the ancient writings and literature, there are occasions and characters that approve the value sex had enjoyed that time. Kamashastra is an early Indian contribution to the illumination of sex. It is the science of sex, which deals with the innate sexual relationship between man and woman and discusses the ways of making sexual life pleasurable and sustaining. According to Hinduism, Religion, Earthly possessions, Sex and Salvation of the soul are of equal importance. If any of these principal pursuits of life is absent, the human life will be incomplete. If sex is ignored, human society will fade away. The reason why the art of sex, like the other three pursuits, is regarded in the Hindu scriptures as both sacred and important. In the past, enough were done to preserve this vocabulary of sex in the same sacred way and Kamashastra is an example to the same. There is more to assign this fact, as there were many writers who wrote discourses on the subject up to the 17th century. The most important book on the subject is Kamasutra (3rd century BC) by Vatsyayana. Kamasutra distinctively describes various aspects of sex such as, kinds of union according to dimensions, different kinds of love, different positions and styles, how to embrace and kiss, pressing and marking with nails, the various ways of lying down etc. In a society that is religious and consistent on ethics, assume the advent of a book like this. Surprising, isn’t it? But the society was so wholehearted to attribute the book as a renowned possession for their spiritual reclamation. The basic message of Kamasutra then was to give eroticism a greater place in the scheme of life along with artha, moksha and so on. Kamasutra has a lot of dharma (of sexuality) and dharma leads to spirituality. It tells that there are certain things you should not do but if you want to do it then do it this way. Apart from the art of lovemaking, Kamasutra also discusses many aspects of Indian society, giving a detailed picture of the social life of ancient India. It clearly reflects the attitude and outlook of the people of that time. Kamasutra and the other books that followed it are the lucid representations of the mindset of the people of that remarkable time.
Tantras or Tantric sex is another set of evidence that can be taken as key to the trends of the earlier times. Tantra is any of the several esoteric traditions rooted in Hindu and Buddhist philosophy. Although tantra yoga texts themselves are only dated to the medieval period in India, it is thought by some that the earliest strand of tantra yoga, derived from the Dravidian, pre-Hindu religion of Shaktiism (adoration of the deity in her many forms), focused on yoni puja, a ritual honouring the vulva - either of a statue or a living woman. Depending upon the school of study, this puja involved making offerings of food and liquids while chanting prayers or it included the intentional sexual arousal of a woman who was believed to embody or personify the deity.
A related thread of tantra yoga that derived from Shaivism (the worship of the god Siva, which predates the syncretistic religion now known as Hinduism) has at its centre linga puja, a ceremony honouring the penis, often in the form of a natural upright stone.
Another one part of tantra (left-hand way) stressed on the sexual rituals even though it was not widely accepted. The Buddhist version of tantra considered ejaculation as the main goal of the sexual practice to drive the sexual energy towards achieving full enlightenment, rather than ordinary pleasure.
Related objects of worship have been found among the archaeological remnants of many Neolithic people around the world, leading some theorists to speculate that "sex worship" in some form or another is humanity's oldest religion.
Ancient Indians thought that the appropriate use of sex was an art. Perhaps that's why they called pleasure girls as artists (devdasis). Many of these pleasure girls treated their profession as a form of devotion to God, and refined it as an advanced fine art.
Some of our oldest temples are decorated with sexually explicit sculptures. These show a widely prevalent sexual connotation with temples of the past, which brought people into spiritual thought-frames of sex. Although Khajuraho is most famous for these sculptures, most of the Indian temples have them in one form or another. It could be a part of sexual education in ancient India: since most people visited temples, it was an appropriate place for mass communication. Some scholars say that these sculptures were provided to assist ‘kama’ one of the four major routes towards spirituality according to Hinduism. As these sexual figurines are restricted only to the outer walls of the temples, some people construe them as a symbolic gateway to reaching God. Another assumption is that at the time just preceding the construction of these sculptures, monastic Buddhism was prevailing, people were losing attention in the householder-life, and the temples were built to attract people to sex and family life and to renovate Hinduism.
Apart from these, there are stories from the mythology that influenced the people of the ancient time and involved in improvising their moral behaviours. The stories of Shakuntala and Dushyanta, Radha and Krishna, Yayathi and Devyani, and Nala Damayanti are enough to surmise the deep meaning of love and attraction of sexes. There are more stories, as more as sand grains on the seashore. Stories of Apsaras, the beauty idols and many more. These stories may not be an outspoken representation of sex, but a deep and suave undertone of sex and bodily attachment can be seen all through these stories and characters.
There are stories about Male-female union, unexpected intimacies, unusual interactions, and unthinkable climaxes. There are plenty of instances that exemplify the quality and attitude the audience could drew from these stories. All these Vedic features point towards the presence of a widespread acceptance and acknowledgement of the theme ‘sex’ in a period that is years away from the technological improvisations and cultural edifications of modern times. All it was about to make a spiritual consciousness as sex itself was considered as a superconsciousness. All these are sufficient examples to arrive at a conclusion that in our ancient culture, sex was not a taboo, but it was a subject as open and transparent as the sky and as profound and meaningful as the sea.
In the earlier period, even when the family did not offer explicit sexual education, the general culture was permeated by respect for fundamental values and hence served to shelter and preserve them.
Support from other cultures
In the past, the cultures that existed around the globe had altogether a neat and altruistic approach toward sex.
Sexuality in early Egypt was open, untainted by shame or guilt. Sex was considered as a vital part of life - from birth to death and rebirth. Even the gods themselves were earthy enough to copulate. The Egyptians even believed in sex in the afterlife. Sex was not taboo at all... Even the Egyptian religious conviction was filled with tales of adultery, incest, homosexuality, masturbation and even hints of necrophilia! Masculinity and femininity itself were powerfully related with the ability to conceive and bear children.
Roman artists pictured a great range of human sexual activities-far beyond those mentioned in classical literature. Roman citizens paid artists to decorate expensive objects, such as silver and cameo glass, with scenes of lovemaking. This erotic art was not hidden away, but was displayed proudly in homes as signs of wealth and luxury. In public places, artists often depicted outrageous sexual acrobatics to make people laugh. These art forms represent a sophisticated, pre-Christian society that placed a high value on sexual pleasure.
Ancient China had a beautifully erotic civilization. Eroticism was portrayed openly in all forms of the arts and literature.
But in ancient India, the sexual mores had a different outlook altogether from the above mentioned civilizations all. In India, sex had an image of satisfaction and maturity in order to attain the spiritual levels of existence. It was not aberrant but selfless, not unnatural but divine. So there were no deformities about the ways of discussing and openly approaching sex as a theme.
What we see today?
What we see today is a completely different picture. In India, discussion on sexuality hardly takes place. If at all, it is mostly part of the discussion on obscenity, media policy or rape. We are afraid of speaking about sex in public. There are no more spiritual associations with sex as the holistic characteristics of sex are defamed. But the quality of sex has become so common that today the spiritual practice of sex, considered for millennia to be a profound, powerful and even crucial aspect of spiritual life by Budhists, Hindus and Christians alike—seems to have all but fallen by the wayside.
There are specific reasons to this irony or the devaluation of sex. Sex today is like any other passive physical activity just to seek and fulfil bodily pleasures. It has declined from its sacredness to a mere business support for selling unproductive themes to the mass. There is no motive, except satisfying instantaneous emotions. Most often sex is identified as just a satirical topic for the media. As there are no essentials to its credit, sex has become a taboo or something wrong that is to be performed, or even thought about, only in the shadows of seclusion.
Similar lines of the thought are very obvious from the views of some people today. There are people who believe that sex is sin and that's why it takes place at night. Today’s commercial movie culture hints at this kind of "sinful" sex, i.e. implying condemnation of women in a tempting way all the time. However this kind of demoralisation of women and thereby sex do not actually facilitate an open, debate on sexuality.
Whereas diseases like AIDS worsen the scene. AIDS did not make any awakening, other than making people more shrunken. In India, backward attitudes to sexuality and similar issues make tackling sexually transmitted infections, including HIV/AIDS, difficult. These maladies are a result of illegal and unhealthy modes of personal intimacy. Instead of reducing the negatives, it makes an impression that sex is unsafe. There are problems too. When there is a taboo like ‘sex’, the disease and the misconceptions associated with it flourish further.
All these together make the scene darker. The authorities (or the people themselves?) are still confused whether to include ‘sex’ as a subject to study. There are people who agree to include sex as a subject to study and people who defy it. But the whole effect is the same- taboo. There are teachers who are ashamed to take lectures on sex, the organs and facets of sex. It’s true that in India, this kind of a downbeat affects even the field of medical instruction too.
A lot of people say they find it easier to speak with a counsellor over the phone rather than face to face. This is an obvious face of taboo. In countries where talking about sex is still considered taboo, it's hard for people especially teens to find accurate information. Many young people find their information from pornographic web sites and X-rated films. This often adds to their confusion about sex and gives them a feel of insufficiency. This further aggravates the taboos by promoting crimes and sexual harassments in the backdrop.
The taboo- pictures from Europe and the U.S
While comparing to the European countries or the U.S, we can find a basic deviation on the whole theme of sex. In European countries, sex is not a taboo at all. But in the U.S, sex is still a subject matter that falls in between the taboo part and a non-taboo side as well. But there is a great similarity between how both parts of the world consider on educating the youth about sex and most possibly this may be the principal reason why sex is not a taboo in both the countries as compared to the Indian landscape. In the west, the idea of sex education is very clear. They believe that sex, however, is something that should be explained by parents, not demonstrated in media. It’s always better that kids find out these things from their parents or sex education instead of watching sexual techniques in a video game or in a porn website. So there it never leads to the wrong impression of sex. Instead of an expression of affection or desire, without this preface, it becomes an expectation and not a privilege.
Moreover, in the West, a major reason of taintless approach toward sex can be an acceptance attitude. This is what has sometimes been termed as the "sexual revolution" of the post-war period, i.e. acceptance of pre-marital sex and change of sex partners as a fairly normal part of life.
A slight difference is seen in the American territory, as it is more sensitive to sex related matters. A perfect example of how sensitive the American culture is to sex is how they handled the film "Leon: the professional" In America, the movie was cut, and missing all of its charm because people were slighted by the implied love between the two main characters. None of the violent content was cut, yet a major part of the character development is lost all while. While in Europe, the film maintained it's original version, and audiences embraced the relationship between the two leads, rather than avoiding it. That doesn't mean that there aren't odd attitudes about sex in Europe, it's just that, taken as a whole, the attitudes about sexuality and the human body are a bit more relaxed than they are in the US; so there's no need to get fixated on issues over sex and such matters.
To add more, it is to be thought that the western folks have greater independence from morality unlike India, so they take decisions more freely and independently. But in India morality and sexuality are excessively fused together to make the life stringy.
Barbara Huberman, director of outreach and education at Advocates for Youth, in Washington, D.C had once commented;
"European countries are very comfortable with the idea of teen sexuality. It’s not considered taboo, as is the case here in the U.S. Society doesn't view adolescent sexual behaviour from a moral perspective in these countries. They don’t debate whether teen sex should or shouldn't occur, but they discuss the ways to keep teens as educated and safe as possible."
A similar sexual revolution won’t heal the taboo scars of Indian sexuality so simply. But what is mentionable here is the realization that is absent in our country, but undoubtedly present in the foreign states. As per their social attitudes, they realized the identity of sex that led to define a code of sexual openness in those countries. For that reason, there sex is not a subject that is to be kept in secret words and coded gestures, but to be glorified and discussed for the sexual well-being — to a self-affirming and enjoyable sexuality.
The flow is missing.
Yes, we really missed the flow- the flow of a great culture that synchronised sex with civilization, righteousness and complete awareness along with a solemn generosity. We had a culture that was much more open to sex and sexuality than any other country in the world. But today, while standing in the midst of taboos and forbidden fruits, think; are we really the offspring of such a magnificent tradition? Where did we miss the flow then? What are the reasons that mutilated the once-existed permissiveness? Let’s look for some sound reasons.
The fall of identity is the major cause of the sexual taboos in India. The wrong interpretation of celibacy has a villainous role in this issue. In the Indian tradition itself, there is an obvious disagreement amid the principles of sexuality and celibacy as to find which one is more relevant. Celibacy has always exposed to greater discussions and interpretations. Except in the Gupta period of Vatsyayana, a conflict which eroticism has almost lost. Again in the middle of the time the middle class was under the Victorian Puritanical influence, which reinforced the abstinent principles of the Indian tradition. This further softened the existence of sex as a subject matter. But at the same time people assumed that since the western political and economic foundations were better, perhaps their ethical institutions were also better. This made a wall in the minds of the people. That’s why still sex and eroticism is perhaps suffering from the lack of a proper identity.
Apart from these two, there are specific reasons that made way to the former and consequently contributed to the decline of the ancient civilization. As mentioned in the beginning, everything from frequent transformations in the ruling powers, foreign invasions, visits and revisits of various cultures, suppression of identity as a country and culture and lack of proper thinking are the real causes behind the gradual missing of this ancient sensitivity.
The ruling was under constant changes. There existed several small kingdoms before the arrival of Westerners, Moguls and Arabs. Each of these small countries had their own culture and ethnicity but a basic thread of beliefs and culture that was prevalent throughout the Vedic times united them all. The very culture fostered arts, science, and discussions on all other aspects of life including sex too. The kings, emperors, governments, business bodies all have backed these. But when foreign cultures started intruding, the ethnicity was seen loosening. The foreign cultures and civilizations imposed their rules and customs so that the identity of these small countries faded. In addition, they started fighting each other for power and wealth by the influence of the foreign ‘guests’. Slowly the discussions and discourses had been stopped and arts and cultural qualities had been forgotten.
The foreign invasions especially the influence of the Mogul empire has a great hand in making sex a taboo in India. Many aspects of Indian life, including sexuality, were changed by the Muslim conquest of South Asia that began in the eighth century. Islamic rules spread into modern-day India in the early eleventh century and culminated with the tenuous conquest of most of South India in 1707. The introduction of Islam had a more profound effect on North India, which was held mostly under Muslim rule until the nineteenth century. Actually these rules were not imposed in a fine morning, but these had been taking place throughout the Muslim ruling and making gradual but critical changes in the minds of the people. For a better stand, it is to be thought that the Mogul invasion was not imposed any strict assaults on Indian traditions, but it happened as a part of the overall confusion imparted by the rule.
The constant invasions and intrusions had left India culturally and ethnically squeezed. The arrivals and departures of Portuguese, Dutch, French, Arabic, British and a lot of other micro incursions have their own prevailing leftovers in the Indian cultural landscape. The visits and revisits of these compound cultures had profound influence in shaping the present cultural skeleton of India that stay far away from the ancient consciousnesses. And this is certainly a reason of the taboo mentality that the Indians breathe today.
Another factor was that there was freedom of speech, individual liberty, concept of private and intellectual property in the ancient times. A man could research and study what they wanted. Comparatively speaking, a man could go into a royal court and proclaim a new invention, or come up with a new play or dance without fear of retribution, imprisonment or death. This is a critical aspect. But in the middle, he had lost that power of individuality from his hands, as he had surrendered it to someone alien to him. So a fissure in the gradual thought process happened and this resulted in the darkening of the period.
The origin of taboos is actually from the medieval times itself. And a tough truth lies behind this grasp. There is a basic difference between the social beliefs of the past and today. The cause of this trouble is the mid time when a lot of wrong and unhelpful principles were originated. There are a set of principles and knowledge our ancestors hold and that could stand the test of time. But in the middle, there also developed a body of awareness — maybe, better called values and thoughts — about sexuality and all other aspects of humanity that has since then proven to be wrong and shown to be based on fallacious principles or suppositions. Many of these erroneous beliefs and ideas have, regrettably, not been discarded till today, and have therefore acted as a drag on us (the taboos); they often exercise a better grasp over the minds and hearts of our people than the tradition of knowledge that has stood the best of time and has been found to be well-matched with what was discovered later.
Add to all these factors, the lack of thinking from our side bears the lead role in inviting taboos to the life. Sex; it’s just a matter of thinking rather than tabooing and suppressing. Even today, a proper analysis and open mindedness could do well against the taboos.
Can a proper definition make it clearer to the people?
Sex is whole in itself. It’s a perfect donation to your body, mind and spirit. It’s a benevolent, expressive and exceptionally noble act, which is a form of prayer in itself. Its presence is really divine and that’s direct to the spirit rather than the body. The body opens the hearts to unite and become one; the emotions gush through the hearts and propel them, the needs and desires express themselves to the fulfillment, no fears are born, no absence is felt, and finally souls meet and embrace each other. A kind of salvation from the tears and fears. Through this sharing of body, mind and spirit, God is revered and remembered. Like this, making love goes from the physical to the emotional and finally to the spiritual level where it becomes a prayer to the Divine. Again, it’s not just prayer only; it’s consent from God to stay in peace, happiness and sublime moods.
The taboo shade- growing or fading?
In the shade of the taboo, what’s happening is the disheartenment of the culture and courage of the people. In the absence of proper thinking, what’s ruling is stupidities and dearth of knowledge. So there is no meaning in maintaining the same tabooed suppressions of sex and sexual expressions in the frame of sophistic decency. A transformation is approaching, as change is always the call of the time. A change of attitudes and beliefs. This change is clearly visible in the middle and upper class. It is a kind of swaying towards the western concept that talks of sexuality free from any restraint. But it is not easy as it is not the same sexuality that our ancestors believed in.
Flee from taboo does not mean a minus in the moral values by abusing the sexual denominations. ‘No taboo’ cannot be a deviation from the spirituality of sex. So a careful analysis and a lot of work are still required to elaborate on a sexual norm for modern India. We should not remove it too far from our own cultural experiences. (As it would be difficult to identify as Indian) It should be a neat improvement from the ancestral specifications and a heedful restraint from the naked Western culture. Otherwise there would again be a divide: on the one side the great ascetic idealism and on the other a completely erotic idealism. It is very difficult to foretell which direction it is going in.
The word ‘Sex’ has always an exclamation following it, as it’s one of the most ‘forbidden’ or ‘unheard’ words in India. Imagine your kid asking about sex, the latest nosiness that in his world is quiet confusing. He has a pile of questions: How are new babies born? Why is mom’s belly so big? You think… but about ways to turn aside those queries. Homework, the new storybook or a new video game…options just alight before your on-the-spot creativity, only because you don’t want to (or don’t know how to) clarify those doubts. You are right at this stand, as you too had the same curiosities but those ‘scoldings and suppressions’ led to conceive that sex should be a silent sensation. But our kids are the smarter version of modernity, as they leave the scene with an inexplicable frustration, but try to find answers to all the queries with the aid of their post-modern roommates such as Internet, camera phone or some other spicy small-screens.
Sex is a taboo in India or it has become like that. The very word ‘sex’ itself is enough to turn the heads back. Parents are worried to tell their kids about it and kids are confused and trying new means to find it. Teachers ‘hate’ the word itself. Students are segregated in schools and colleges based on their sex. But day after day, sex-related crimes are increasing. Nights are becoming the hot shops of anti-natural sexual undertones. Media look pregnant with stories of rape, abuse and other sexual imputations. Streets, vehicles, parks and even one’s own home are not safe.
But why is it so? The only reason behind all these commotion is the suppression of this most universal sensation that is as wide and wonderful as life itself. Since normal communication and friendship between a boy and a girl is hindered by social taboos, the two sexes live in two different worlds and suffer from a great communication gap. What we perceive as crimes and problems are just side effects that happen due to these unfriendly outlooks. Human sexuality has always had a darker side, but it is truly the need of the time to have an in-depth look at this forbidden pleasure and how it fits into the strange, wonderful spectrum of human life.
The past and the present- a comparison.
India, the largest country in South Asia, and one of the largest in the world, is an exceptionally diverse nation-ethnically, culturally, linguistically and religiously. The Indian reflection about sexuality and gender has been shaped by many factors, including religion and the influence of various ethnic groups. In the past, Indian thought towards eroticism and gender variance seems to be more tolerant than it is today.
In ancient India, sex was not considered a taboo as it is seen today. In the past, there was enough freedom and indication to positively approach and discuss about sex. We can find plenty of examples and evidence to the same from our extensive mythological collections. At such times, the society supported and was open to the spiritual contemplations and intellectual considerations of sex and its various aspects. People believed in the ‘inner healing’ sex brings to the individuals involved in sex and therefore it was considered as an ideal holistic approach to life. The word ‘sex’ never raised the brows of the folks that time. But that openness has been deflating till then. That positive approach and thoughts about sex has been castrated from the minds and eventually arrived at a tabooed obsession. Everything from mutation in the ruling powers, foreign invasions, visits and revisits of various cultures, suppression of identity as a country and culture and lack of proper thinking carry the cause of this predicament. So we can find a shadow between the earlier period and what is seen today. There lies the ultimate cause and reason of this question; how sex has become a taboo in India? The location of the article is the same question while it investigates the fact from there to arrive at a probable and most passable id for the future.
The Vedic times
The ancient world was open and hearty. Not just to mere body interactions only, but to the whole aspects of sex. The ideas of intercourse, homosexuality, polygamy and monogamy, ethics of sex and love, new and innovative ways to explore the unknown pleasures of sex, and even scriptures reciting the methodical ways of sex and sexual pleasures were the very known subject matters of the time. They were even known to the spiritual pathways of sex, where it provided the harmony of body, mind and spirit. The masthead then was the openness toward sex, so that the subject was acceptable to the poor and rich alike. They used to discuss the importance and frontiers of the very feeling irrespective of the age, time and location.
Hundreds of examples are available from the ancient records to summarize the significance ascribed to sex. In most of the ancient writings and literature, there are occasions and characters that approve the value sex had enjoyed that time. Kamashastra is an early Indian contribution to the illumination of sex. It is the science of sex, which deals with the innate sexual relationship between man and woman and discusses the ways of making sexual life pleasurable and sustaining. According to Hinduism, Religion, Earthly possessions, Sex and Salvation of the soul are of equal importance. If any of these principal pursuits of life is absent, the human life will be incomplete. If sex is ignored, human society will fade away. The reason why the art of sex, like the other three pursuits, is regarded in the Hindu scriptures as both sacred and important. In the past, enough were done to preserve this vocabulary of sex in the same sacred way and Kamashastra is an example to the same. There is more to assign this fact, as there were many writers who wrote discourses on the subject up to the 17th century. The most important book on the subject is Kamasutra (3rd century BC) by Vatsyayana. Kamasutra distinctively describes various aspects of sex such as, kinds of union according to dimensions, different kinds of love, different positions and styles, how to embrace and kiss, pressing and marking with nails, the various ways of lying down etc. In a society that is religious and consistent on ethics, assume the advent of a book like this. Surprising, isn’t it? But the society was so wholehearted to attribute the book as a renowned possession for their spiritual reclamation. The basic message of Kamasutra then was to give eroticism a greater place in the scheme of life along with artha, moksha and so on. Kamasutra has a lot of dharma (of sexuality) and dharma leads to spirituality. It tells that there are certain things you should not do but if you want to do it then do it this way. Apart from the art of lovemaking, Kamasutra also discusses many aspects of Indian society, giving a detailed picture of the social life of ancient India. It clearly reflects the attitude and outlook of the people of that time. Kamasutra and the other books that followed it are the lucid representations of the mindset of the people of that remarkable time.
Tantras or Tantric sex is another set of evidence that can be taken as key to the trends of the earlier times. Tantra is any of the several esoteric traditions rooted in Hindu and Buddhist philosophy. Although tantra yoga texts themselves are only dated to the medieval period in India, it is thought by some that the earliest strand of tantra yoga, derived from the Dravidian, pre-Hindu religion of Shaktiism (adoration of the deity in her many forms), focused on yoni puja, a ritual honouring the vulva - either of a statue or a living woman. Depending upon the school of study, this puja involved making offerings of food and liquids while chanting prayers or it included the intentional sexual arousal of a woman who was believed to embody or personify the deity.
A related thread of tantra yoga that derived from Shaivism (the worship of the god Siva, which predates the syncretistic religion now known as Hinduism) has at its centre linga puja, a ceremony honouring the penis, often in the form of a natural upright stone.
Another one part of tantra (left-hand way) stressed on the sexual rituals even though it was not widely accepted. The Buddhist version of tantra considered ejaculation as the main goal of the sexual practice to drive the sexual energy towards achieving full enlightenment, rather than ordinary pleasure.
Related objects of worship have been found among the archaeological remnants of many Neolithic people around the world, leading some theorists to speculate that "sex worship" in some form or another is humanity's oldest religion.
Ancient Indians thought that the appropriate use of sex was an art. Perhaps that's why they called pleasure girls as artists (devdasis). Many of these pleasure girls treated their profession as a form of devotion to God, and refined it as an advanced fine art.
Some of our oldest temples are decorated with sexually explicit sculptures. These show a widely prevalent sexual connotation with temples of the past, which brought people into spiritual thought-frames of sex. Although Khajuraho is most famous for these sculptures, most of the Indian temples have them in one form or another. It could be a part of sexual education in ancient India: since most people visited temples, it was an appropriate place for mass communication. Some scholars say that these sculptures were provided to assist ‘kama’ one of the four major routes towards spirituality according to Hinduism. As these sexual figurines are restricted only to the outer walls of the temples, some people construe them as a symbolic gateway to reaching God. Another assumption is that at the time just preceding the construction of these sculptures, monastic Buddhism was prevailing, people were losing attention in the householder-life, and the temples were built to attract people to sex and family life and to renovate Hinduism.
Apart from these, there are stories from the mythology that influenced the people of the ancient time and involved in improvising their moral behaviours. The stories of Shakuntala and Dushyanta, Radha and Krishna, Yayathi and Devyani, and Nala Damayanti are enough to surmise the deep meaning of love and attraction of sexes. There are more stories, as more as sand grains on the seashore. Stories of Apsaras, the beauty idols and many more. These stories may not be an outspoken representation of sex, but a deep and suave undertone of sex and bodily attachment can be seen all through these stories and characters.
There are stories about Male-female union, unexpected intimacies, unusual interactions, and unthinkable climaxes. There are plenty of instances that exemplify the quality and attitude the audience could drew from these stories. All these Vedic features point towards the presence of a widespread acceptance and acknowledgement of the theme ‘sex’ in a period that is years away from the technological improvisations and cultural edifications of modern times. All it was about to make a spiritual consciousness as sex itself was considered as a superconsciousness. All these are sufficient examples to arrive at a conclusion that in our ancient culture, sex was not a taboo, but it was a subject as open and transparent as the sky and as profound and meaningful as the sea.
In the earlier period, even when the family did not offer explicit sexual education, the general culture was permeated by respect for fundamental values and hence served to shelter and preserve them.
Support from other cultures
In the past, the cultures that existed around the globe had altogether a neat and altruistic approach toward sex.
Sexuality in early Egypt was open, untainted by shame or guilt. Sex was considered as a vital part of life - from birth to death and rebirth. Even the gods themselves were earthy enough to copulate. The Egyptians even believed in sex in the afterlife. Sex was not taboo at all... Even the Egyptian religious conviction was filled with tales of adultery, incest, homosexuality, masturbation and even hints of necrophilia! Masculinity and femininity itself were powerfully related with the ability to conceive and bear children.
Roman artists pictured a great range of human sexual activities-far beyond those mentioned in classical literature. Roman citizens paid artists to decorate expensive objects, such as silver and cameo glass, with scenes of lovemaking. This erotic art was not hidden away, but was displayed proudly in homes as signs of wealth and luxury. In public places, artists often depicted outrageous sexual acrobatics to make people laugh. These art forms represent a sophisticated, pre-Christian society that placed a high value on sexual pleasure.
Ancient China had a beautifully erotic civilization. Eroticism was portrayed openly in all forms of the arts and literature.
But in ancient India, the sexual mores had a different outlook altogether from the above mentioned civilizations all. In India, sex had an image of satisfaction and maturity in order to attain the spiritual levels of existence. It was not aberrant but selfless, not unnatural but divine. So there were no deformities about the ways of discussing and openly approaching sex as a theme.
What we see today?
What we see today is a completely different picture. In India, discussion on sexuality hardly takes place. If at all, it is mostly part of the discussion on obscenity, media policy or rape. We are afraid of speaking about sex in public. There are no more spiritual associations with sex as the holistic characteristics of sex are defamed. But the quality of sex has become so common that today the spiritual practice of sex, considered for millennia to be a profound, powerful and even crucial aspect of spiritual life by Budhists, Hindus and Christians alike—seems to have all but fallen by the wayside.
There are specific reasons to this irony or the devaluation of sex. Sex today is like any other passive physical activity just to seek and fulfil bodily pleasures. It has declined from its sacredness to a mere business support for selling unproductive themes to the mass. There is no motive, except satisfying instantaneous emotions. Most often sex is identified as just a satirical topic for the media. As there are no essentials to its credit, sex has become a taboo or something wrong that is to be performed, or even thought about, only in the shadows of seclusion.
Similar lines of the thought are very obvious from the views of some people today. There are people who believe that sex is sin and that's why it takes place at night. Today’s commercial movie culture hints at this kind of "sinful" sex, i.e. implying condemnation of women in a tempting way all the time. However this kind of demoralisation of women and thereby sex do not actually facilitate an open, debate on sexuality.
Whereas diseases like AIDS worsen the scene. AIDS did not make any awakening, other than making people more shrunken. In India, backward attitudes to sexuality and similar issues make tackling sexually transmitted infections, including HIV/AIDS, difficult. These maladies are a result of illegal and unhealthy modes of personal intimacy. Instead of reducing the negatives, it makes an impression that sex is unsafe. There are problems too. When there is a taboo like ‘sex’, the disease and the misconceptions associated with it flourish further.
All these together make the scene darker. The authorities (or the people themselves?) are still confused whether to include ‘sex’ as a subject to study. There are people who agree to include sex as a subject to study and people who defy it. But the whole effect is the same- taboo. There are teachers who are ashamed to take lectures on sex, the organs and facets of sex. It’s true that in India, this kind of a downbeat affects even the field of medical instruction too.
A lot of people say they find it easier to speak with a counsellor over the phone rather than face to face. This is an obvious face of taboo. In countries where talking about sex is still considered taboo, it's hard for people especially teens to find accurate information. Many young people find their information from pornographic web sites and X-rated films. This often adds to their confusion about sex and gives them a feel of insufficiency. This further aggravates the taboos by promoting crimes and sexual harassments in the backdrop.
The taboo- pictures from Europe and the U.S
While comparing to the European countries or the U.S, we can find a basic deviation on the whole theme of sex. In European countries, sex is not a taboo at all. But in the U.S, sex is still a subject matter that falls in between the taboo part and a non-taboo side as well. But there is a great similarity between how both parts of the world consider on educating the youth about sex and most possibly this may be the principal reason why sex is not a taboo in both the countries as compared to the Indian landscape. In the west, the idea of sex education is very clear. They believe that sex, however, is something that should be explained by parents, not demonstrated in media. It’s always better that kids find out these things from their parents or sex education instead of watching sexual techniques in a video game or in a porn website. So there it never leads to the wrong impression of sex. Instead of an expression of affection or desire, without this preface, it becomes an expectation and not a privilege.
Moreover, in the West, a major reason of taintless approach toward sex can be an acceptance attitude. This is what has sometimes been termed as the "sexual revolution" of the post-war period, i.e. acceptance of pre-marital sex and change of sex partners as a fairly normal part of life.
A slight difference is seen in the American territory, as it is more sensitive to sex related matters. A perfect example of how sensitive the American culture is to sex is how they handled the film "Leon: the professional" In America, the movie was cut, and missing all of its charm because people were slighted by the implied love between the two main characters. None of the violent content was cut, yet a major part of the character development is lost all while. While in Europe, the film maintained it's original version, and audiences embraced the relationship between the two leads, rather than avoiding it. That doesn't mean that there aren't odd attitudes about sex in Europe, it's just that, taken as a whole, the attitudes about sexuality and the human body are a bit more relaxed than they are in the US; so there's no need to get fixated on issues over sex and such matters.
To add more, it is to be thought that the western folks have greater independence from morality unlike India, so they take decisions more freely and independently. But in India morality and sexuality are excessively fused together to make the life stringy.
Barbara Huberman, director of outreach and education at Advocates for Youth, in Washington, D.C had once commented;
"European countries are very comfortable with the idea of teen sexuality. It’s not considered taboo, as is the case here in the U.S. Society doesn't view adolescent sexual behaviour from a moral perspective in these countries. They don’t debate whether teen sex should or shouldn't occur, but they discuss the ways to keep teens as educated and safe as possible."
A similar sexual revolution won’t heal the taboo scars of Indian sexuality so simply. But what is mentionable here is the realization that is absent in our country, but undoubtedly present in the foreign states. As per their social attitudes, they realized the identity of sex that led to define a code of sexual openness in those countries. For that reason, there sex is not a subject that is to be kept in secret words and coded gestures, but to be glorified and discussed for the sexual well-being — to a self-affirming and enjoyable sexuality.
The flow is missing.
Yes, we really missed the flow- the flow of a great culture that synchronised sex with civilization, righteousness and complete awareness along with a solemn generosity. We had a culture that was much more open to sex and sexuality than any other country in the world. But today, while standing in the midst of taboos and forbidden fruits, think; are we really the offspring of such a magnificent tradition? Where did we miss the flow then? What are the reasons that mutilated the once-existed permissiveness? Let’s look for some sound reasons.
The fall of identity is the major cause of the sexual taboos in India. The wrong interpretation of celibacy has a villainous role in this issue. In the Indian tradition itself, there is an obvious disagreement amid the principles of sexuality and celibacy as to find which one is more relevant. Celibacy has always exposed to greater discussions and interpretations. Except in the Gupta period of Vatsyayana, a conflict which eroticism has almost lost. Again in the middle of the time the middle class was under the Victorian Puritanical influence, which reinforced the abstinent principles of the Indian tradition. This further softened the existence of sex as a subject matter. But at the same time people assumed that since the western political and economic foundations were better, perhaps their ethical institutions were also better. This made a wall in the minds of the people. That’s why still sex and eroticism is perhaps suffering from the lack of a proper identity.
Apart from these two, there are specific reasons that made way to the former and consequently contributed to the decline of the ancient civilization. As mentioned in the beginning, everything from frequent transformations in the ruling powers, foreign invasions, visits and revisits of various cultures, suppression of identity as a country and culture and lack of proper thinking are the real causes behind the gradual missing of this ancient sensitivity.
The ruling was under constant changes. There existed several small kingdoms before the arrival of Westerners, Moguls and Arabs. Each of these small countries had their own culture and ethnicity but a basic thread of beliefs and culture that was prevalent throughout the Vedic times united them all. The very culture fostered arts, science, and discussions on all other aspects of life including sex too. The kings, emperors, governments, business bodies all have backed these. But when foreign cultures started intruding, the ethnicity was seen loosening. The foreign cultures and civilizations imposed their rules and customs so that the identity of these small countries faded. In addition, they started fighting each other for power and wealth by the influence of the foreign ‘guests’. Slowly the discussions and discourses had been stopped and arts and cultural qualities had been forgotten.
The foreign invasions especially the influence of the Mogul empire has a great hand in making sex a taboo in India. Many aspects of Indian life, including sexuality, were changed by the Muslim conquest of South Asia that began in the eighth century. Islamic rules spread into modern-day India in the early eleventh century and culminated with the tenuous conquest of most of South India in 1707. The introduction of Islam had a more profound effect on North India, which was held mostly under Muslim rule until the nineteenth century. Actually these rules were not imposed in a fine morning, but these had been taking place throughout the Muslim ruling and making gradual but critical changes in the minds of the people. For a better stand, it is to be thought that the Mogul invasion was not imposed any strict assaults on Indian traditions, but it happened as a part of the overall confusion imparted by the rule.
The constant invasions and intrusions had left India culturally and ethnically squeezed. The arrivals and departures of Portuguese, Dutch, French, Arabic, British and a lot of other micro incursions have their own prevailing leftovers in the Indian cultural landscape. The visits and revisits of these compound cultures had profound influence in shaping the present cultural skeleton of India that stay far away from the ancient consciousnesses. And this is certainly a reason of the taboo mentality that the Indians breathe today.
Another factor was that there was freedom of speech, individual liberty, concept of private and intellectual property in the ancient times. A man could research and study what they wanted. Comparatively speaking, a man could go into a royal court and proclaim a new invention, or come up with a new play or dance without fear of retribution, imprisonment or death. This is a critical aspect. But in the middle, he had lost that power of individuality from his hands, as he had surrendered it to someone alien to him. So a fissure in the gradual thought process happened and this resulted in the darkening of the period.
The origin of taboos is actually from the medieval times itself. And a tough truth lies behind this grasp. There is a basic difference between the social beliefs of the past and today. The cause of this trouble is the mid time when a lot of wrong and unhelpful principles were originated. There are a set of principles and knowledge our ancestors hold and that could stand the test of time. But in the middle, there also developed a body of awareness — maybe, better called values and thoughts — about sexuality and all other aspects of humanity that has since then proven to be wrong and shown to be based on fallacious principles or suppositions. Many of these erroneous beliefs and ideas have, regrettably, not been discarded till today, and have therefore acted as a drag on us (the taboos); they often exercise a better grasp over the minds and hearts of our people than the tradition of knowledge that has stood the best of time and has been found to be well-matched with what was discovered later.
Add to all these factors, the lack of thinking from our side bears the lead role in inviting taboos to the life. Sex; it’s just a matter of thinking rather than tabooing and suppressing. Even today, a proper analysis and open mindedness could do well against the taboos.
Can a proper definition make it clearer to the people?
Sex is whole in itself. It’s a perfect donation to your body, mind and spirit. It’s a benevolent, expressive and exceptionally noble act, which is a form of prayer in itself. Its presence is really divine and that’s direct to the spirit rather than the body. The body opens the hearts to unite and become one; the emotions gush through the hearts and propel them, the needs and desires express themselves to the fulfillment, no fears are born, no absence is felt, and finally souls meet and embrace each other. A kind of salvation from the tears and fears. Through this sharing of body, mind and spirit, God is revered and remembered. Like this, making love goes from the physical to the emotional and finally to the spiritual level where it becomes a prayer to the Divine. Again, it’s not just prayer only; it’s consent from God to stay in peace, happiness and sublime moods.
The taboo shade- growing or fading?
In the shade of the taboo, what’s happening is the disheartenment of the culture and courage of the people. In the absence of proper thinking, what’s ruling is stupidities and dearth of knowledge. So there is no meaning in maintaining the same tabooed suppressions of sex and sexual expressions in the frame of sophistic decency. A transformation is approaching, as change is always the call of the time. A change of attitudes and beliefs. This change is clearly visible in the middle and upper class. It is a kind of swaying towards the western concept that talks of sexuality free from any restraint. But it is not easy as it is not the same sexuality that our ancestors believed in.
Flee from taboo does not mean a minus in the moral values by abusing the sexual denominations. ‘No taboo’ cannot be a deviation from the spirituality of sex. So a careful analysis and a lot of work are still required to elaborate on a sexual norm for modern India. We should not remove it too far from our own cultural experiences. (As it would be difficult to identify as Indian) It should be a neat improvement from the ancestral specifications and a heedful restraint from the naked Western culture. Otherwise there would again be a divide: on the one side the great ascetic idealism and on the other a completely erotic idealism. It is very difficult to foretell which direction it is going in.
The spit mania
Spitting is a waste habit one can have. If you are addicted to pan masala or some other ‘shit smelling’ things, spitting becomes an involuntary activity. Haven’t you seen filthy, reddish spittle full of pus? (Sorry, I do not have any picture to insert here.) Let’s see what would be the attitude of a person who spit on the common places.
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I spit.
I see (my) spittle everywhere.
I can (will) spit anywhere in India because I ‘m an Indian.
I spit on the roads and pavements,
I spit on the walls and the casements.
I spit better from the BEST or the trains.
Yesterday I could even spit on somebody’s head (idiot he is!)
I really like my spittle. (Saliva that’s come out of my mouth)
It’s very spicy and reddened by a range of gutkhas and panmasalas.
I like my spittle bubbles on the tip of my moustache.
It’s nice to spit when there is a slight wind (at least it will reach somewhere)
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I spit.
I see (my) spittle everywhere.
I can (will) spit anywhere in India because I ‘m an Indian.
I spit on the roads and pavements,
I spit on the walls and the casements.
I spit better from the BEST or the trains.
Yesterday I could even spit on somebody’s head (idiot he is!)
I really like my spittle. (Saliva that’s come out of my mouth)
It’s very spicy and reddened by a range of gutkhas and panmasalas.
I like my spittle bubbles on the tip of my moustache.
It’s nice to spit when there is a slight wind (at least it will reach somewhere)
Agony of a writer
Every good piece of writing is the outcome of the intense pain and suffering within the mind of the author. Same to various art forms too. It is like the pain a woman suffers to give birth to a child. No, I am sorry, it’s more than just a pain, but it’s like a battle or a tumult within the mind of the creator. If your mind is too hurt, or has suffered a lot more than usual, the outcome also would be greater. Again, the success and authenticity of that writing depends on how much the reader can involve and relate that suffering to his life. The reader is always keen to identify himself somewhere in the art form. When he finds himself nowhere he passively leaves it. But it doesn’t mean that you have to write about a generalized or commonest thought or activity to gain more success. But if the reader can identify himself even with a minute description in the writing, you are successful.
Wednesday, September 14, 2005
The Making of a BETTER HALF
Call her the granny nanny. Kids like to be with her always as she happily casts a magic world of stories and wisdom before their sweet nuisances. Most of her stories swing around the blissful childhood she spent, the forgone days with her parents, or the hurdles and risks she had to face while bringing up her children. Home and home only, she as well as her stories has never come out of those four letters. No blame on her, but she has never assumed a day out of her house, or her stories never mention a world of stressful office hours.
But past is past. Gone are the days, when you could assume a woman within the four walls of home. Today she is present in every sphere of life (omnipresent??), as active and competitive as men. Her voice has the same depth and weight that the male partakers have been enjoying all through. An impression that women did not contribute much of significance to our civilization other than being just caretakers of their families has changed. Women have made great strides over the last century in areas where they were not historically equal to men; they gained the right to vote, they removed the barriers of traditionally male professions, and they changed the way society looked at them. Women are no longer viewed as primarily “nurturing” or “emotional” creatures, but are judged on their individual qualities.
There is a story behind this glory: a story of exploitation of women in the past. Today’s rising impact of women is the result of that earlier struggles and the resurrection arrived out of it. In our old world, education was a forbidden fruit for girls. Never the idea did enter even in the affluent families, as educating women was considered a big waste that time. A mere wastage of time and money. Overall the conditions were the same. Primarily the belief was permeated upon the fact that women were to take care of the family by being a good housewife. The roles she had to act were a daughter’s, a sister’s, a wife’s, a mother’s, and nothing more. So the idea of education or more plainly, schooling was nowhere meant to be essential in a girl’s life.
Forget all! Unlucky she was. Forget all those missed friends! Forget all those never-happened tests and their marks! Forget all those never-enjoyed holiday’s and picnics! But behind all, there was strong misuse happened that is beyond forgettable. Woman was suppressed and abused inside the four walls. Her words were unreturned and thoughts devaluated. Inside and outside the home she was abused and infringed. Births of girls made minds silent and dissatisfied when births of boys were celebrated. The life of a girl was dull and soundless. No abuse was questioned and curtailed. But a rising was happening in the background, slowly, but strongly.
The plight of women has been changing since then. Slowly, they came out of the four walls and extended those four letters. This was actually a clear call of the time. Communication improvements had created awareness across the minds. This helped to outline a total code of living all over. Adding into the above reason, women were inspired by other successful women and their success stories. An unconscious desire for imitating their views and lifestyle sprouted in the minds of others. In addition, the real awareness of the situation, facilitated by some social bodies and reformers performed in all the places. They made campaigns and dialogues against the existing social disorders and anarchies including the education and empowerment of women. Totally, these movements could improve the conditions a lot.
The style of living was changing on the other side. A revolution in communication made life easy, but more stylistic. The ‘status’ and ‘status symbols’ came into the minds of people forcing them to earn more to live their lifestyles. One breadwinner in one family has become an old concept as both husband and wife started earning. Also the explosion in population made life so competitive. In order to gain the same quality and status of life, people started thinking about ‘dual earners’ in a family.
Today, woman could make her presence in almost all the fields. Science, sports, politics, business and media are just a few major fields, where women have an active participation. There are organizations and social bodies that represent women and feminist issues.
There is female presence in every sphere of science today and they could even step into space travel too in the very recent moments of the time. Kalpana Chawla, the late astronaut, is the proud representation of today’s women of courage and reaching. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, women now comprise 46% of all managers and administrators, while only 18% of executive positions were held by women in 1960. Names like Kiran Shaw(CEO Bio Medicon India), Sania Mirza(tennis player) Anju Bobby George (athlete) Aishwarya Rai(actor), Indira Gandhi(ex-prime minister of India) etc. are not just achievers of acclamation, but they are the proud representations of successful women on the whole.
There are more leaders, activists, professionals and other influential and successful women who helped transferring the identity of whole women from the abstraction of kitchen to the bright spheres of community.
Indeed, the mass media revolution has created new models and awareness to women across the world. Today’s woman draws examples not only from her own surroundings, but from the foreign cultures too. The success of females in those places inspires her to a large extent. They closely watch the Hollywood trends, the foreign business channels, and the western fashion amendments. At times, some happenings there would enthuse them too. One such example is the recent nominations for the 75th Academy Awards in the US. It reflected, in great measure, the impact of a few women-powered films in Hollywood. In a male-dominated medium that often relegates actresses to the part of the "love interest" or some other one-dimensional role, this year's Oscar nominees revealed an industry willing to explore riskier and more diverse female protagonists. This kind of global happenings inspires the women all over.
But still...
Barriers, some real, some perceived and some self-imposed, still confront women. Personal, societal, cultural and religious attitudes also impede women even today. Some of the rural areas are just closed themselves from all the changes happening around. There is still a pullback existing in the minds of women. It needs nothing else, but self-realization. In order to understand oneself better one has to stand in a better position to understand. An overall understanding will contribute to a mass awareness that in turn will remove the mental blocks. Finally, it is all the more important to prepare oneself for a big change. Standing away won’t do any good, except self-infringement. So only a joined effort combining mind and body together will do the needed.
Today we are standing far off from the early times of gender preferences and womanhood issues. Today a concern over the status of women has permeated both thinking and rhetoric in the society. The challenge that we have to shoulder, in the light of today’s more relaxing womanhood, women movements and education, and the dynamics of gender equality, is to forget the shibboleths of the past and look forward a new generation of men and women, working together to build a better world. Like two equal halves, the better halves.
But past is past. Gone are the days, when you could assume a woman within the four walls of home. Today she is present in every sphere of life (omnipresent??), as active and competitive as men. Her voice has the same depth and weight that the male partakers have been enjoying all through. An impression that women did not contribute much of significance to our civilization other than being just caretakers of their families has changed. Women have made great strides over the last century in areas where they were not historically equal to men; they gained the right to vote, they removed the barriers of traditionally male professions, and they changed the way society looked at them. Women are no longer viewed as primarily “nurturing” or “emotional” creatures, but are judged on their individual qualities.
There is a story behind this glory: a story of exploitation of women in the past. Today’s rising impact of women is the result of that earlier struggles and the resurrection arrived out of it. In our old world, education was a forbidden fruit for girls. Never the idea did enter even in the affluent families, as educating women was considered a big waste that time. A mere wastage of time and money. Overall the conditions were the same. Primarily the belief was permeated upon the fact that women were to take care of the family by being a good housewife. The roles she had to act were a daughter’s, a sister’s, a wife’s, a mother’s, and nothing more. So the idea of education or more plainly, schooling was nowhere meant to be essential in a girl’s life.
Forget all! Unlucky she was. Forget all those missed friends! Forget all those never-happened tests and their marks! Forget all those never-enjoyed holiday’s and picnics! But behind all, there was strong misuse happened that is beyond forgettable. Woman was suppressed and abused inside the four walls. Her words were unreturned and thoughts devaluated. Inside and outside the home she was abused and infringed. Births of girls made minds silent and dissatisfied when births of boys were celebrated. The life of a girl was dull and soundless. No abuse was questioned and curtailed. But a rising was happening in the background, slowly, but strongly.
The plight of women has been changing since then. Slowly, they came out of the four walls and extended those four letters. This was actually a clear call of the time. Communication improvements had created awareness across the minds. This helped to outline a total code of living all over. Adding into the above reason, women were inspired by other successful women and their success stories. An unconscious desire for imitating their views and lifestyle sprouted in the minds of others. In addition, the real awareness of the situation, facilitated by some social bodies and reformers performed in all the places. They made campaigns and dialogues against the existing social disorders and anarchies including the education and empowerment of women. Totally, these movements could improve the conditions a lot.
The style of living was changing on the other side. A revolution in communication made life easy, but more stylistic. The ‘status’ and ‘status symbols’ came into the minds of people forcing them to earn more to live their lifestyles. One breadwinner in one family has become an old concept as both husband and wife started earning. Also the explosion in population made life so competitive. In order to gain the same quality and status of life, people started thinking about ‘dual earners’ in a family.
Today, woman could make her presence in almost all the fields. Science, sports, politics, business and media are just a few major fields, where women have an active participation. There are organizations and social bodies that represent women and feminist issues.
There is female presence in every sphere of science today and they could even step into space travel too in the very recent moments of the time. Kalpana Chawla, the late astronaut, is the proud representation of today’s women of courage and reaching. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, women now comprise 46% of all managers and administrators, while only 18% of executive positions were held by women in 1960. Names like Kiran Shaw(CEO Bio Medicon India), Sania Mirza(tennis player) Anju Bobby George (athlete) Aishwarya Rai(actor), Indira Gandhi(ex-prime minister of India) etc. are not just achievers of acclamation, but they are the proud representations of successful women on the whole.
There are more leaders, activists, professionals and other influential and successful women who helped transferring the identity of whole women from the abstraction of kitchen to the bright spheres of community.
Indeed, the mass media revolution has created new models and awareness to women across the world. Today’s woman draws examples not only from her own surroundings, but from the foreign cultures too. The success of females in those places inspires her to a large extent. They closely watch the Hollywood trends, the foreign business channels, and the western fashion amendments. At times, some happenings there would enthuse them too. One such example is the recent nominations for the 75th Academy Awards in the US. It reflected, in great measure, the impact of a few women-powered films in Hollywood. In a male-dominated medium that often relegates actresses to the part of the "love interest" or some other one-dimensional role, this year's Oscar nominees revealed an industry willing to explore riskier and more diverse female protagonists. This kind of global happenings inspires the women all over.
But still...
Barriers, some real, some perceived and some self-imposed, still confront women. Personal, societal, cultural and religious attitudes also impede women even today. Some of the rural areas are just closed themselves from all the changes happening around. There is still a pullback existing in the minds of women. It needs nothing else, but self-realization. In order to understand oneself better one has to stand in a better position to understand. An overall understanding will contribute to a mass awareness that in turn will remove the mental blocks. Finally, it is all the more important to prepare oneself for a big change. Standing away won’t do any good, except self-infringement. So only a joined effort combining mind and body together will do the needed.
Today we are standing far off from the early times of gender preferences and womanhood issues. Today a concern over the status of women has permeated both thinking and rhetoric in the society. The challenge that we have to shoulder, in the light of today’s more relaxing womanhood, women movements and education, and the dynamics of gender equality, is to forget the shibboleths of the past and look forward a new generation of men and women, working together to build a better world. Like two equal halves, the better halves.
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